Being a mentor is a fulfilling way to pass on your knowledge and share the rewards of your experience with someone. It’s also a great way to learn more about yourself – a point that catches the eye of the most experienced and effective mentors.
This is just one of several pieces of wisdom that veteran mentors have learned over time. We’ll get to others soon, but first, a bit of an overview.
What is a mentor? Are mentors selected or does mentoring happen naturally? Are you made to be a mentor? Let’s work through this together.
Mentoring helps employees learn and build lasting bonds
Sometimes successful mentoring is a product of circumstances. And more often than you might think, the impact of successful mentorship is felt throughout the organization.
I once hired a former colleague (whom we call Susan) to join our communications team. She immediately let me know that she wanted to be a human resource manager. Susan’s enthusiasm and potential were evident.
She had the skills, the experience and the training, along with the confidence and professionalism required to stand out. However, at this point the small team could not support another manager.
When I was researching opportunities for Susan, a public relations student (let’s call her Emily) reached out to me. She was looking for a summer internship with us.
Before hiring Emily, I worked with Susan to develop a working relationship that would benefit everyone. As director, I would continue to lead the team. But Susan would oversee Emily’s daily chores.
Furthermore, neither Susan nor I were sure how to define their role. Should it be coaching or mentoring? Since neither of us had figured out the nuances of the two abilities, we had to dig through the definitions.
Mentor or coach?
A mentor is someone who shares their knowledge, skills, and experience to help another person develop and grow. Mentoring often takes place over a longer period of time and, similar to teaching, is based on guidance and knowledge transfer.
Its purpose is for the mentor to guide, teach and demonstrate specific skills. A mentor is usually a few years further in their career and has a working knowledge of the skills required.
On the other hand, a coach is someone who guides a client in clarifying their goals and helps them to reach their full potential. Coaching is less direct and instructive. Because the coach asks powerful questions, coaching is more exploratory. Coaches and clients work together in mutually agreed upon sessions, often for 20 minutes to an hour each.
When a person spends time in the mentoring role, they acquire some important skills that can strengthen the mentor-mentee relationship. Over time, a dedicated mentor can hone these skills and further cement their legacy as someone who truly transformed someone’s life.
7 skills experienced mentors have perfected
1. They are a storehouse of relevant knowledge and expertise
Unlike a coach, a mentor needs knowledge and experience in the subject that he is supposed to impart to the mentee. A mentor was “there, did it”, but is still very committed and enthusiastic about the topic. It is most effective when the mentor’s knowledge and experience is still fresh.
2. You have the ability to share knowledge effectively with the aim of helping someone else grow
In a career setting, mentoring goes much deeper and requires more commitment than aligning the mentee with their role. A mentor must be willing to invest in the mentee’s growth. They should be willing to make the mentee a priority until they and the mentor are comfortable with the mentee’s growing skills and independence.
3. They offer genuine encouragement
A good mentor is neither a cheerleader nor a bossy supervisor. Their goal is to encourage the mentee to overcome the challenges and to demonstrate their belief in the mentee’s ability to succeed.
4. They give constructive feedback and advice
To help them overcome the challenges, they need to provide constructive feedback and advice. The mentor shows respect for the mentee by waiting for the right time and place for a short feedback.
Then the mentor could share the area of growth with the mentee along with a specific example of what they observed. The mentor would also explain the implications of the behavior and then pause to respond. If it is clear that the mentee understands, the mentor would suggest steps the mentee could take to change the behavior.
5. They model follow-up and follow-through for their mentees
Mentors must model the behavior they want to see in the mentee. It is important to respond to a mentee’s inquiries in a timely manner. Good mentors plan follow-up options and monitor the mentee’s progress.
A good mentor is authentic and honest. They don’t make promises they can’t keep. You are reliable. If a mentor schedules meetings with the mentee every Thursday at 2 p.m., the mentee can be sure that these will take place on time.
6. They promote autonomy
While mentors must be closely aligned with the mentee’s development, this does not allow for overseeing and overseeing every task. Instead of micromanaging, a good mentor gives the mentee room to make plans and fails in areas where the risks are lower
7. They have mastered their listening skills
The best leaders are great listeners. Active listening is essential for mentors. They make the listener feel heard and valued. You build a culture of trust. To foster growth, mentees need to know they can ask their mentors anything
Even before a thorough review of a mentor’s skills, I knew instinctively that Susan had them. But what if you’d like to mentor someone but feel like you don’t have what it takes to be a mentor?
The good news is that you can learn all of these skills.
How to Learn Mentoring Skills
It goes without saying that you already have the skills and experience you want to impart to the mentor. The rest is more about what’s really in your heart. If you can answer yes to both of these questions, you may be ready to start mentoring.
Are you really interested enough in the subject?
If you don’t do this, the mentee will know and will not take full advantage of your mentorship. For both of you, mentoring will be an experience to endure rather than enjoy. When you do this, your passion and enthusiasm will shine through, resulting in a much more positive experience and outcome.
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Do you really care about helping others develop and grow?
That’s the key. Again, it’s hard to hide. Your mentee will sense how serious you are about their development.
The rest are intentional practices that you can develop over time with practice.
Are you ready to be a mentor?
If, like Susan, you’re thinking of becoming a mentor, congratulations on reaching such an important milestone! You may have thought about your own professional success and the people who helped you get to where you are today. You’re mature and confident, and you realize it’s time to give back.
This is called the generativity phase in Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. This phase comes with a desire to invest in others, with the by-product of leaving a lasting legacy for yourself.
Portrait of a successful mentoring
Susan, Emily, and I were all new to the concept of mentoring not too many summers ago. As we were all excited to learn and participate in growth and development, the experience was a resounding success.
Susan handled her role as mentor with the ease and professionalism I expected. The experience prompted her to pursue further training in leadership. A short time later she became a people manager and is now the director.
Emily developed her skills and contributed to the team in such a way that we could easily see her becoming an integral part of the team. After graduating, she became an entrepreneur and started her own very successful business.
And I learned the difference between mentoring and coaching. For me it was the summer that sparked a new passion. I learned that a career in coaching could satisfy my own thirst for generativity. I enrolled in a coach education program and five years later coaching became my full-time job.
Imagine what mentoring could do for you.
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Brent Roy, PCC, CPLC, CMC, is a Certified Career, Leadership and Personal Development Coach and Certified Mentor Coach. Brent can help you build your confidence to prepare you for promotion or a new career. Contact Brent for more ways he can help.